STEPH the Cyborg.

Musical theatre

2010-05-03T23:56:00.003+08:00

I didn't get called back for the Musical Theatre auditions. I know I said I want to do acting, and I don't really care, but it hurts. I don't know why! It makes me worry for my Acting audition, I guess.

Dear God,

Everything's for Your glory, Lord. You work in ways I don't understand, so.. I put my trust in You. I know and I believe that You have a plan for me. I believe that You have my future in Your all-powerful hands, the same hands that hold me in Your arms and tell me that it's okay. the same hands that made me. The same wonderful God.

Thank You.

O Holy Spirit, You're my comfort
Strengthen me, hold my head up high.

David Archuleta

2010-04-29T22:38:00.004+08:00

is on my playlist. Cheesey songs. hahah.

If you asked me, I would follow.
But for now, I just pretend.
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love,
You can.

Philip's Bday 2010

2010-04-29T19:33:00.001+08:00

Because I only have two more assessments left, I can actually blog on a regular basis again! Whopee! Anyway, what better to blog about than about the recent events! This is the first time I'm using Picasa to upload a blog post, so I hope this works.

Digressing - But I'm using Picasa cos my desktop died, and photoshop's in my desktop. -glares at desktop- The CPU kind of makes this beeping sound when I turn it on. Huh. MOVING ON.

We went to Tao's for Philip's 19th birthday! (I almost wrote 20th. Haha, that's how old you look.) I spent hours cracking my head, wondering what would be a good birthday present for Philip. A shirt (for main service!)? Socks?! Penknives? Plasters? Snacks? -headdesk- Then Ben enlightened us with sagely advice - treat him to dinner. Well. Duh. Haha.

Tao's is located at the basement of PoMo, formerly known as Paradiz Centre. (I sound like I'm writing an ad for them.) The food is freaking good. It's so damn good. It's a 7-course meal, go with an empty stomach. If you're not a mushroom eater, like me, go with mushroom eaters. You'll need them. HAHA.

The teas are served in cute little pots. Rose apple tea is the nicest. And the cups are so cute. HAHA. I'm a tea fan. I'm biased. The tea is freaking awesome. Ughh looking at the picture now makes me want to drink tea! Tea tea tea~ Haha. It has apples inside! And it's damn yummy! I can write a whole post about the joy of tea la.

Okay basically, the food is good, save for one course which was some mushroom thing. Philip and Ben ate it for me. It was gross and squishy but according to them, it's nice. Haha. I liked the starters. It was some bread with cheese gratin that reminded me of solidified mushroom soup. Ha. I should write this post after eating dinner. -_- I'm getting hungry now.

Main course - Take the beef. The beef is awesome. Awesome awesome beef.
I took flounder. Yes the fish. I was kind of suspicious cos fish usually tastes really.. Fishy (pun not intended). It was damn good, with the cheese on top. Me, being female, got too full too quickly, which SUCKED cos I still wanted to eat. Grrawr.

Of course, how could we forget what we came for? =D Philip! It's the company that counts at wherever we go, right? The staff was so nice, gave us extra tea and dessert~ There's this staff that keeps coming over to check us, see if everything's okay and all that jazz. Really really friendly, but I think he uses the same jokes on every table. HAHA.

The dessert was awesome (I had green tea ice cream!) and the guys had Creme Brulee. First time eating creme brulee - not my thing. Why is it eggy?! They gave extra tiramisu and chocolate mousse just cos it's was Flip's bday. If I wasn't so full it would've been nice. I need an external stomach that I can plug in. Haha.

Happy birthday you old fart! Learn to smile more okay?
XD I love how we're all coincidentally wearing black.

Money

2010-04-24T23:05:00.003+08:00

Singing lessons are expensive.
Dance lessons are expensive.
Degree programs are expensive.

I'm thinking of selling my dolls. Nami, Echo, James, Mav, Oreilya.
And lolitas.
And my lens. And everything that I can.

Aren't your dreams more important than these silly hobbies?
Silly expensive hobbies.
Aren't your dreams more important these childish things?

I did not come this far to not be able to do this.
Dear God, I need some help. Any kind of help.

Something Better than This

2010-04-11T00:06:00.002+08:00

Three or so more weeks of school left, yes I'm counting down. Then I can say I've survived a year, a tough year that has stretched me and challenged me in ways that I don't like to be challenged. It's a little late for a new year post, but 2009 has been a year of lessons learnt, and 2010 is going to be a year to make the best out of the lessons that I've learnt.

Most important lesson of all? Gods' way is always the right way.
I regret to have taken that long to have realised this, though I knew it all along, I had to go through many many experiences (not nice ones at that) to realise it to its full potential. Stupid things I've done, but I'm glad I found my way home.

Lord, thank You. For friends that guided me back to You. For friends that will keep me with You. I've learnt. Thank You for not giving up on me. :)

Photos after the busy-ness! I promise! Hahah! I really want to migrate to wordpress.

Steph

Free

2010-03-30T01:28:00.001+08:00

Sweet Charity is over. I am happy.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Do not go gentle into that good night

2010-03-26T01:14:00.000+08:00

By Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Same sad song

2010-03-07T19:36:00.002+08:00

I haven't blogged for awhile, for mainly three reasons - Lack of time and lack of interesting event to blog about, and lack of my laptop. I'm currently using my mom's BenQ Joybook Lite and I'm starting to get attached to it. T_T Blah.

My soul has been sold as a dresser to Sweet Charity until end March. Ugh. Yes, quite fun, but it's taking over school life. I'm just sooo tired out for no reason. Okay, Steph! Get your life together! Yes I willl. -sigh- It's just so crazy now due to S.C. I guess staying back late in school always makes one grumpy. I'm dreading school tomorrow. The only happy thing is that it's Liv's birthday, and we're all dressing up like her. ^_^ Yay <3

I reached home today with the intention of taking a short nap, and to keep me semi-awake I decided to listen to some metal that Ben put in my mp3. I fell into a very deep sleep while thinking that "Hate Me!" by Children of Bodom was a very soothing song. Yes that's how tired I was. Nghhhn..

Oh and I was so tired that I only realised NOW that I'm wearing my trackpants inside-out. Okay, back to my essays, then. T_T

When is baby girl coming?!! T_T

I do wonder...

2010-02-03T20:56:00.000+08:00

Can we..?

Gee, I don't know.

I am not never happy

2010-01-31T01:53:00.004+08:00

What makes me happy:

GOD!

Pictures of puppies

Puppies

Smiling people and puppies

Smiling people

People having fun

People that make me laugh

Ice cream

Gummy candies

Ice cream

Being with people that make me smile

L4Ding with the same ppl

Having good food with the same people

Playing with my dog

Watching my dog sleep

Playing guitar and not screwing up the bar chords

Looking at my dolls

Singing nicely

Listening to good music

Standing under the shower

Jumping around in the evening breeze

Looking at cute things

I can be happy, but something that made me happy is.. Not.

Steph.

That the Sun will burn.

2010-01-29T15:34:00.002+08:00

But still the hardest things to say

Are the words that mean the most

Come on, Angel, say that love me

And that nothing in this world

Will ever scare me again

Take me to where the skies are blue

It's been an okay week. I'm alive. Painful, but still alive. It aches, but I know I'll get through this, cause God is awesome. :) I'm going to pull myself together, one way or another. Which means, step one, CLEAN MY ROOM. Yes, clean my room AND.. not mess it up like 10 mins later. Ha!

I really need to stop falling back on the things so comfortable to me. :/ And stop depending on other people so much. -slaps self- I'm the one too strong to fight. BAAAAA~~~

On another note, the boys are off with Lenny for some photoshoot. James/Nathaniel is a BOY. A pretty boy but a boy nonetheless. ANDDDD!!! I miss you guys! Yes you, the vampire princess and the lunatic! Atlantis wants to meet up! D: She threatens to flood your houses (with a tsunami, Len.) if we don't meet up soon! :)

Oh yes.. I'm selling a Lati Blue Rei for 270USD including wig, faceup, and outfit. When my laptop is alive again, I'll post the pictures.

To where the skies are blue - DEPRESSING SONG.

Are you there, God?

2010-01-18T19:49:00.002+08:00

It's me, Steph. Your daughter. The one you created and put HERE. It's me.

I'm demoralised. Why did you put me in this place? I know Your ways are not my ways, neither are Your thoughts my thoughts. But help me see Your way, because the way I see things now is hurting me. Help me to live as how You'd want me to live, because I'm faltering. I'm breaking down because I cannot see the talent that I apparently have. It's hurting so much and I know only You can understand. Help me to see, Lord. I wish I could believe myself when I said that I don't suck. It's just that the world is making me believe the opposite of what You made me to be. Your work of art. I just feel like a pile of crap now.

Is this where You really want me to go? Help me learn, give me strength to grow. I can't do this on my own.

I just need a little help. Oh, screw it. Take over, Lord. I'll just fall flat on my face if I try by myself..

Steph.

Dear God...

2010-01-15T16:56:00.001+08:00

Dear God..

Give me strength. Keep me strong. You said You'd never let me go, and if I fell you'd catch me. I'm trusting in You, Lord. I'm going to stand for you tonight, please help me stay strong for You.

All You are is all I want, always. This life is Yours, Lord.

Please. I need You more than ever.

I love you Lord.

Amen.

Back to School

2010-01-14T12:15:00.002+08:00

School started this week.. Finally. I wasn't really looking forward to it much, after that long break. I think after every long holiday I have makes me want to be a bum/heiress/taitai for the rest of my life. Blogging from schoo, by the way. I'm supposed to be reading plays, but I will after this post, likely.

Life's been okay, if you call complicated okay. Okay but private life stays private, and from past examples I have learnt never to put private life on your blog. Information for blackmail, you know. So yes, only SOME people know what's going on. But.. Yes, it'll be resolved soon. God is gracious. and He'll pull me through.

I'm really scared for the auditions actually, because I'll unlikely get in. Yes yes, like Philip said, do your best let God do the rest, rhyme not intended. Thank God for Sueanne and Tab with me in the course, otherwise I'll be dying in a ditch somewhere.

Okay moving on to happier things, but it's happy but with a sad element. My first darling boy, Namida, turned two on the 12th of Jan! I haven't got time to do a shoot with him, but his character's really grown in two years. ^_^ So happy second birthday, darling! <3 Steph loves you!

Lots and lots and lots of love,
Steph.

If you die tonight.

2010-01-08T02:10:00.002+08:00

If you die tonight, where would you go?

This is for those I've been praying for. I love you guys. You know who you are. Some I've asked to go to church with me, some I've talked to, or some I've just prayed for. If you see this, please watch it. Watch it to the end. Even if you watch halfway and don't feel like it, would you give this a chance?

Thanks.

A Happy New Year?

2010-01-02T14:39:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year, everyone. School's starting soon.

I spent 2009 doing stupid things and it took me a whole year to realise it.
I pray that 2010 would be a less stupid year.

I'm going to be a cleaner, more mature, and more proactive, and less lazy person in 2010.

Which means I should get out of bed just about now.

Toodles <3

Shit I am crazy.

2009-12-28T13:16:00.001+08:00

Guess what?

A..hahah... hahaha...

Eating grass for next few months..

I FOUND MY LUNA SCARLETTE!

2009-12-25T13:23:00.003+08:00

HERE!!!!

AAAH! SHE'S DAMN CUTE! I've fallen head over heels in love with her already! >_<>< argghhhhh.... And don't say she's creepy just because of her eyes! Just imagine them with pupils inside!

I even made a mock order! >_< Should I split? If so, then it'll be like

Ai OE Head - $60 [me]
Ai R. Head - $60
Ai Humn Body - $100 [me]
Hooves - $60
Tail - $16
Horns - $16
Weenie Dee Hands (pointy) - $15

Clothes - $58 [me]
Eyes - $28
Wig - $28 [me]
Shoes - $28

Shipping: 22.4 ( i pay half )

257.2 USD / 3 = 85.7USD PER MONTH

I'm going mad.

Hmm, School.

2009-12-18T04:20:00.002+08:00

I changed my layout to something else! :3

Getting so sick and tired of making my own skins, so use someone else's stuff instead.

School going to be back on 11th Jan. I passed Semester 1. Before Sem2 starts, I need to...

1. Read 3/30 plays.
2. Do a damn Chinese monologue.
3. Run twice a week.
4. Get a singing teacher damn it.
5. Warm up every single day.

Wish me luck.

I promised pictures! [IMAGE HEAVY!]

2009-12-18T02:30:00.003+08:00

Here are the pictures from my birthday~ It's been such a long time since there was a party at my house and I was so freaked out.. I hid in my room the whole time. :/ Meh.

Pictures not taken by me.

How it started off...

Jagi- ya smiling. XD I think he just looks kinda O_o-ed.

A little thicker..

Then Len came to take over cos she said it was too thin. xD

Mummy and Papa cooking. xD Fast cooks, they are.

WHERE DID THEY HIDE THESE THINGS?!

Balloon blowing! Len: :3 Purple~

Caleb and Caen, who helped.

Len: BALLOON FIGHT!

Tabbi and Isa who cabbed here after church. Wao~

Isa: Look! Steph's wall!

Chlo and I taking pictures with her instant film. I look so eyebaggy.

Len and a Cassiopeia coloured balloon! <3 Pearl red!

Isa sitting in balloons. :3

Phewwww, that's all the photos. I got a haircut, took photos, but more on that another time!

>___< Seeya guys!

Love Steph

17th Birthday!

2009-12-15T04:33:00.005+08:00

I'm not dead! I was just being mad lazy and sleepy! =D And being a happy person, I guess. I'll type what I can remember from this, blah. Alrighty, this is a recount on the 17th October 2009. I know it's a long time ago, fuzzy memory, but I'll try alright? XD

-insert the hazy bright flashback lights-
-white words on black background . . . 17th October 2009 . . . -

-Time: Wah I dunno. Should be around 11am? -cough- I mean.. 0011 hours-

I woke up to my mummy nagging "PACK YOUR ROOM! WHY ARE YOUR STUFF ALL OVER THE BED?" And more nagging. Then she went "Happy birthday." And tries to straighten up the landfill which is my room. I mumble something like "Aiya I'm sleeping here not you.. No one's gonna see this anyway.." And go back to sleep, I think. Anyway, I awaken and goes to shower+ brush teeth. YES. I shower before I brush my teeth. Means I don't eat before I shower. Must bathe!

Then I go into the kitchen to see what's there to eat. I open the fridge then there I saw packet drinks. I was like "huh? people coming over for my birthday..? NAHHHHH, she won't do things without my approval. She knows I don't like large group gatherings.." So I drank Vitasoy and went to church. Then smsed GC to make plans for dinner, maybe meet Len? Looking forward to a nice dinner cos I was craving pasta! =D

In church, got birthday wishes (Yay! <3) Then during service, GC smsed me, "Can't meet you. Sis is bleeding, need to accompany her to KK." So I was was totally sianned. T_____T I got really emo and depressed and almost cried because I was really looking forward to it! Bah! Then Isa and Tabbi weren't free for dinner either! So.. Okay, wasn't gonna let that spoil my mood.. I'm Steph, I can make other plans!

So I smsed GC back in a very unhappy tone, "K. I going cafe meet cy for dinner or sth la. nvm" Maybe dearest godbro CY could cheer me up. DD:

Then suddenly an sms came in from my mom, "Steph come home after JG. Mummy got food poisoning." WHAT THE HELL! T___T Got so suay anot? She was fine this morning! My mom is NEVER sick! Baaah! Okay, so fine, I go home after JG.

On my way home, I sms GC to ask how his sister was doing. He replied, "She's ok already, now in TTSH" (Wait, didn't you say KK? You bad liar you!)

Then I called my mom to ask if I need to buy food but she said "Come home first" (Do I hear voices in the background?!)

Then as I was reaching the lift, I got really freaked out by this guy walking around and he walked off really fast when I came near. I'm really scared of guys walking around my block after the pervert incident. Anyway I reach my lift and I hear running up the stairs opposite the lift. Then I see a very familiar backpack carried by a very familiar blonde. CHLOE PEK! The lift comes and I go in, holding the lift door open...

'LEN!!! SHE'S HERE!!! I'M AT THE FIRST FLOOR!! I'M LOST!'

-___________-

Me: CHLO I CAN HEAR YOU.
Chlo: OH SHI---!!!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

So we both went up the lift and she felt really guilty. HAHAHAH! So before I opened the door I was laughing mostly due to relief, cos I didn't have to spend my birthday eating maggie mee in my room watching anime. So then I opened the door and it was all "SURPRISE!" Then I went "AHA!" And Chlo walked in sheepishly. xD

To my bigger surprise... What is GC and TJ doing in my house?! And is that Isa and Tabbi? Didn't I leave church earlier than them?! -confused- whaaaaat.... But before I could say anything, I was led into my room...

WHAT. ON. EARTH?!?!?!?!

Okay, not only was my room VERY neat, it was under a mountain of balloons. Poor Jagi-ya was dying under the rubbery goodness!

Jagi-ya: -suffocates-

And with decorations! What the?!

And I was in for the biggest shock of all:
Mr. Zhang Guo Chuan was snapping away on an EOS 1000D, when he asked me, "You know whose camera this is?" I was thinking, my brother probably lent him.. Then he said.

"No. Yours."

WHAAAAAAAAT.

CAN BE ANYMORE CRAZY OR NOT?!

Pictures all taken with 1000D.

CAN DON'T BE SO CRAZY? I have a weak heart!

Len being happy.

Chlo, the blondie! Haha!

I'M DAMN SLEEPY I CONTINUE TOMORROW.

Journals + Note

2009-11-25T12:19:00.001+08:00

ACK. After this thursday I'm free, promise. I'm going to write my journals in my blog next time! Grrrrr. Anyway, koped this fron Ben's blog.

Dear you,

If you never felt pain, then how would you know that I am a Healer?

If you never had to pray, how would you know that I am a Deliverer?

If you never had a trial, how could you call yourself an overcomer?

If you never felt sadness, how would you know that I am a Comforter?

If you never made a mistake, how would you know that I am a forgiver?

If you knew all, how would you know that I am the answer?

If you never were in trouble, how would you know that I will come to your rescue?

If you never were broken, then how would you know that I can make you whole?

If you never had a problem, how would you know that I can solve them?

If you never had any suffering, then how would you know what I went through?

If you never went through the fire, then how would you become pure?

If I gave you all things, how would you appreciate them?

If I never corrected you, how would you know that I love you?

If you had all power, then how would you learn to depend on me?

If your life was perfect, then what would you need me for?

Love, Jesus

3 Inch Heels

2009-11-10T23:55:00.002+08:00

ARE DAMN PAINFUL OMG.

I will press on! I will one day be able to dance in them bloody heels!

CHIONG AH!

Posts to write after assessments:
1. Birthday
2. Post photos
3. School

Ta!

LOST | FOUND [ation]

2009-10-23T23:54:00.002+08:00

WATCH IT! Ignore the disgusting typo at the end tho.

<3

That's the reason why I'm so busy nowadays. The school sem is ending so soon, and i PROMISE an update on my life (BIRTHDAY!!!) after all the damn assessments.

<3

What's up what's up?!

2009-09-28T01:02:00.002+08:00

xD Pretty obvious, I haven't been blogging much lately. D: Due to... School!!! Yay!! xD Let's have a quick update shall we?

1. Term 1 has ended. Term 2 has begun.
2. I hate writing analysis' of performances
3. I have 3 complete dollies, and 2 heads, and half a body.
4. I have a new god brother.
5. My birthday is coming up.

1. Term 1 has ended. Term 2 has begun.

zzz..

Term 1 passed relatively painlessly and it's only going to get tougher from here. I miss those 8 months where I can wake up late and go to work.. It's fun to be a bum. Alas, life goes on. D:

Anyway, the 2 months have been alright. IF you want more details, I'll e-mail you my journal (stupid Harris made us do it!). Zomg.

2. I hate writing analysis' of performances

Stupid Harris/Robert. T.T I don't think the understand the magnitude of pain they put us through. I almost died writing my analysis of Sing Dollar. One, I have goldfish memory. Two, I go to a show to enjoy it, not to analyse it! X_X If not for Ivy and CY I would have been dead/dried up somewhere.

Have to do analysis of Blood Wedding later. OTL

3. I have 3 complete dollies, and 2 heads, and half a body.

Namida Matsuo (Japanese: Matsuo Namida) - Abio Angel Ling
Shoji - Lati Blue Rei
Echo Elise Mathieu - Lati Blue Yern
Nathaniel 'James' Galterio - Cerebus Project El
Mavolio H. - K-doll Karon

XD Bahahaha, I love freaking you guys out.

4. I have a new god brother.
.... by the name of Loh Chee Yeong! xD

Funny story, okay fine not so funny. He just asked. LOL. But when people ask you cannot reject what, so no point right. Okay sorry CY, I wasn't going to reject anyway.

He said he always wanted a younger sis. I feel so made used of now (again, JOKE). Bahaha, Cy, I'm gonna announce it here so you can't get out of it!

We made a pact! If I stop eating ice, he'll stop smoking. I ate ice today cos he cracked and smoked. Ha! xP

5. My Birthday.

17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October 17 October

Be Thou Near To Me

2009-08-11T18:56:00.001+08:00

As I wander through this life
Be Thou near to me.

Though In this burden of my making
Yet in the shadows still a light I see
Maker whose love is not forsaking
Oh Lord, be thou near to me

Just like my Husband 59!

2009-08-09T00:07:00.001+08:00

I was storm! <3

First Day of School!

2009-08-03T23:24:00.002+08:00

Damn shagged. I felt like I was having drama like the whole day. Yoga is painful, except for the lying down part. Today, I sat down to much I think I have a butt indent. :)

Don't expect me to blog/be online much. I felt like I ran around Singapore. >_<

Where does one purchase Mdm Suping pants? Aka fisherman pants. Or Ali baba pants. WHAT'S THE RIGHT TERM?!

<3 Steph

8 months.

2009-07-30T23:46:00.002+08:00

Well, it's finally here. My foundation year at LASALLE is starting. I went for orientation today, and met up with the same people I met during the auditions. Crazy and fun bunch of them, like all theatre students are. I can't wait for school to start, for those mad times we're gonna have. This is what I've waited for all this while, I guess.

I've also got my school schedule. Basically it's Monday - Friday, 8.30AM - 7PM. Woohoo. But it's what I've wanted to do this whole time, I guess. It's like, having Drama for school. And this means I can't work anymore. Argh, I'm gonna cry.

Making that decision to join Settlers@SMU was probably one of the things I could never regret. I've met the most amazing people, people that I had so much fun, and learnt so much from. People that I felt were almost family to me. Especially those times when we had steamboat / porridge / herbal chicken soup. (JOHN! XD) You guys felt like family. Shit I'm going to start sobbing soon.

These are the people that I were with for the past almost 8 months. Playing WoW (played wow cos of them!), changing the mop water, facing the horror that is in the sink, facing the horror on the floor, getting nagged at, joked around with. I'm really going to miss them. :(

And it's also where I broke my first plate/cup/jug. It's like, I never broke anything at home before, and I break like so many things there. I still remember the evil plate! -__-

Packing the game shelves. D: Was horrid, but it is now made easy by Juleng's perfect solution! Hahahha. And it's Ivy there, next to me. DD: I'm gonna miss her lameness (oops!). And our bread + tofu diet which didn't work out in the end. XD Hehhe.

My Hero in Warcraft TCG. Hehhe. Like, all the guys at cafe played, so it was very pointless to just sit there watching them, so I learnt it too. Turns out to be a fun game la! XD Wheee!

I'm going to miss these counters. XD Going to miss playing mahjong. Going to miss all you people. I'M SO SAD NOW. Cafe's always gonna be like a family to me la. Love you guys. :( Okay, gonna go now! Orientation part 2 and last day of work tomorrow! ARGHH! -sobs-

Of course, that's where I found you..

AAAH!!!

2009-07-23T04:48:00.001+08:00

HI EVERYONE. EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT?! HAHA.

T_T Louise nendoriod! 8D 62 SGD. She's damn cute. ><

I'll Stand by You

2009-07-22T04:12:00.002+08:00

Jagi-ya

Nothing you confess, could make me love you less.
I'll stand by you.

zutto, eien ni, yakusoku de.

Steph.

Why I can't let go.

2009-07-20T03:20:00.003+08:00

Waking by the sunlight and your skin.

Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we've been through
Could I wake up without you every day?

On another note, Harry Potter and the HBP is not worth a cinema watch. Pirated VCD level.

I'm hungry. :(

There is a Longing

2009-07-10T01:34:00.003+08:00

I feel like shopping. :( Meh! I want to need to and have the URGE to go shopping. :( Okay, that aside, it's 1.40AM and I can't get to sleep. Why, you ask. Weeeeell, for reasons known and unsaid.

One, I'm worried sick. (Don't ask.)
Two, I'm a little hungry.
Three, I fell asleep at 8.30pm just now.
Four, I'm worried sick. (Ask if you want, but I won't tell you.)
Five, Shit I'm mad worried.
Six, I'm so worried I'm sad.
Seven, FREAKING WORRIED LA.
Eight, I crave for Katong Laksa.
Nine, I crave for Prawn noodles.
Ten, I'm freaking sad and worried. :(

"Wishing for.."

"Trouble is a friend."

Edited these two pictures just a while ago. On a lighter note, my lolita is finally here! On a sadder note, I want a BABY lucky pack which will probably render me broke, so nevermind. :( Why are Lolis so pretty?!

Cosfest is this weekend, and I'm discouraged to go due to H1N1. -slaps H1N1- Pfffffffffft.

Nothing else to say, I'm going to try to sleep again. OR knock myself with a frying pan! :) I think. -sigh-

wish i could be there, wish i could be holding you
watching as you drift in sleep
and taking away your pain

Beautiful eyes

2009-07-07T01:19:00.001+08:00

Listening to so many Taylor Swift songs. "The Best Day" Just made me cry. HAHA.

Amazing

2009-07-06T14:25:00.002+08:00

My God is an awesome God!

Friday's musical was amazing, I've never seen the 4th floor sanctuary so filled up! I was also surprised that Eug came - thought he would have forgotten all about it, cos even I didn't expect him to come. Thanks you! And I also didn't forget any cues or lines! Yay!! :D

I have the musical DVD, if you want it, MSN me. I'll try to burn it. xD

So to reward myself today, I ordered McDelivery! Fillet O fish meal with the cinnamon melts! Of course, paired with my mayo + chilli mix sauce! Awesomeness.

Buuuut, working later at 5, so... Bleh! Ttyl!

Today!

2009-07-03T12:06:00.003+08:00

Today is the day tralalalala! Yes, it's D-DAY of D-musical! 8DD The 17 Year-old virgin!

Finally!

:3 Okay! Off to bathe + eat something and it's off to church! Wish me luck, guys! 8D And pray that I don't stumble/fall/trip/forget lines/go off key when singing.

Love !

Nuffnang Blogging Contest - Nokia

2009-06-24T15:58:00.003+08:00

When you gotta do something crazy, you gotta do something crazy.

Full resolution here
Read downwards.

Credits:
Brushes by Meth
Photos by my own photostream

Lastly...

Shake up with Nokia Comes with Music!

When the World crashes.

2009-06-21T23:45:00.002+08:00

Warning: Angst.

Have you ever felt useless?

Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you tried, you'd always be at the back? Have you ever felt that you've not only let yourself down, you've let people who put their faith in you down, too? Have you ever felt that you'll always know somebody's always got the upper hand? Have you ever felt like giving up? Have you ever felt like running away? Have you ever felt so sick and tired of people and you just want new ones?

Well, I do now.

This is why I'm so sensitive when people talk to me about performing. It's not like I'm not trying. I'm crawling on even though it hurts. It's the craft I claim to be my forte. And I suck at it. Plainly put - I bloody well suck. But you see, I don't do anything else better. I can't do anything else.

I'm sorry, then, I can't live up to what you want me to be. Sometimes you forget I'm human, too. That I feel weary and the lack of drive just like you. But I'm sorry anyway.

I'll go back to do what I do best - The mask is waiting. The act is beginning. Like Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage."

Note: I do not want sympathy, empathy, pity or any form of sorrywords. I will, in response to these replies, be very sarcastic as well as ignore you for a while. I also do not want comfort or any "What's going on"s. Sheesh, it's my BLOG, isn't it? Can't I write here without getting pissed off? >_>

Thank You

2009-06-18T15:26:00.002+08:00

-starts sobbing uncontrollably-

Korean -sob- dramas -sob- are -sob- so.. -sniff- DEPRESSING. -sobs-

Lenny lent me this and.. I watched the first chapter while eating Curry Chicken with rice. Little did I know there was a surgical scene so I consumed my lunch whilst watching the doctor perform a bloody (pun not intended) operation. Ew.

As I continued eating, there was a bit of a sad part and then I lost all appetite. -emos-

OH WELL BACK TO WATCHING.

Anywhere

2009-06-17T00:40:00.002+08:00

"I have dreamt of a place for you and I.."

This month is.. No money month! Perhaps I should rethink my Doll family. I really think I should stop at 4 full dolls and one head. Yep, that's enough. -sigh- I guess my girls (Lue and Luna) will have to wait until I'm done with my studies.

I went to the Christian Lacriox (is that how to spell it?) gallery at the Singapore Museum (Opposite SMU) with Chloe. Free entry for students. We also went to the Verner Panton exhibition. That was fun. :3

He's a French costume designer, and has designed for many great performances such as Romeo and Juliet. I like his designs, but they look awfully heavy. D: Uploaded a few on Flickr.

Chlo and I camwhore in toilets!

Check out the rest on MY FLICKR

Going off to sleep now! <3 Steph! Baaa, work tomorrow!

"Unique!"

<3

Rolling Around

2009-06-15T12:27:00.002+08:00

I wish this holiday could be spent with me doing nothing. I want to laze around, eating Maggie Mee and watching anime. I want to sleep in until 4PM.

But I've been so busy...

Off to rehearsals later. Follow me on twitter to see what I'm doing! :D

Editing pictures are fun! :3

These Few Days

2009-06-10T01:48:00.002+08:00

Well, CMD camp is tomorrow to friday! :)

Took a few pictures and uploaded it on my flickr. :3 GC booked in today and he's gonna be bald. Hahahah.

AAAANDDD... Lookie what I got!

Jagi-ya says, ".___. Mehhh?"

He has this eternally glassy-eyed blank face which is so cute la! xD -huggles fluffy bear- Yay! And with a bear, comes act-chio buay-chio pictures.

I think Jagi looks traumatised here. AND FORGIVE MY MAKEUPLESS FACE LA. Sorry if I cracked your comp screen! :P

Signing off...

Echo loves her new wig from Leeke!

Steph <3

Jagi-ya..

2009-06-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

Sorry.

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who would have believed that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away

And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me

And you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

PAAAAIN!

2009-06-03T16:04:00.002+08:00

BLOODY CRAMPS SO BLOODY PAIN! Guys! Be glad you're guys and you don't have to suffer this damn leaky feeling every month! It's like you're peeing and not being able to control it! >_< And the bloody cramps are so bloody painful! It's like there's this thing squishing your stomachy area (that area below your belly?) and squeezing in. And it's so pain that it makes me unable to move at all. T_____T

Stupid monthly auntie that visits me. -kicks her- DIE!

T.T

A Visit from Love

2009-05-31T00:04:00.002+08:00

I posted this on my LJ a few months ago, and no harm posting it here again.

"You'll be safe with me..."

She had flame-red hair,
With ice-blue soul and wide-eyed stare.
Cold and warm fingertips,
Malice and comfort on cherry-red lips.

She had faint pale scars on her face,
Down her cheek and neck they grace.
Silverbells tinkled when she smiled,
As her flaming locks went wild.

I took a step closer to the girl,
Her face snow white and purest pearl.
Trapped within patience and hurt
Sound of his name and bright alert.

I asked why she was living on,
When seconds later Love was gone.
She whispered in her magical tune,
An epiphany t'was revealed soon.

"Love isn't love if you forget
The reason why you ever met."

Don't forget Love.

1 Corinthians 13 : 4-7
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Someday We'll Know.

2009-05-27T15:16:00.002+08:00

Someday we'll know, if love can move the mountains
Someday we'll know, why the sky is blue

Do I really have to let go? Is there no other way? Why must it end this way? I knew this was coming, I knew that the day would come when I had to force myself to do this. But I never believed it.

I don't regret meeting you. But I regret.. The stupid choices I've made throughout. I could have spared all this nonsense and pain if I had just thought more. Seeked more. Asked more. And not have listened to the brain + heart that doesn't like to work together.

I really want this to work out. Never wanted anything else so much. But deep down, there's a still small voice telling me this isn't the one. My entire self wants to deny that fact, but it stays there. Why? Must it be this way?

If I could ask God just one question, why aren't you here with me?

It hurts to think about how I would look you in the eye, and say all this. I told you to hold on, didn't I? I'm sorry.

Someday we'll know, why I wasn't meant for you.

I don't know what else to do.

Tears of an Angel

2009-05-25T02:19:00.001+08:00

Playing around with my camera, etc. >_< I'm gonna go take pictures of my dorries~ :3 I can't wait for Mavvie to come home!

Steph.. Has been busy!

Keep bleeding, love.

2009-05-21T12:18:00.002+08:00

Image from here

This pain, this bleeding, this hurting.
Almost hating for feeling this way.

And I'll try to ignore the nagging ache
This biting cold, this numbness seeping in.

And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?

House Move pictures.

2009-05-13T01:36:00.002+08:00

I've finally finished editing the pictures of my new room/house thingum! :3 19 pictures!

Something from Japan which I don't understand, hanging on my door!

And when you open the door.. You immediately see...

The dolls* are excited that I'm giving a virtual tour, and also complaining that I never take pictures of them anymore, so they insist on showing you guys around.

This is my bookshelf!

Christmas thing Japanese host gave me, Lelouch, Byakuya, Echo's foot.

Echo: The wall clashes with my hair color.

Shoji has taken over my desk! But it's okay, he has cuteness to make up for it!

Shoji: Hi Fufu~~ Let's meet up soon?

OKAY MOVING ON! Moving to.. My bed! ^_^

My messyish bed, and.. Namimi?

Namida: I'm the first kid, so I get dibs on the bed!

Nami: -smirk-

Okay, let's move on the other parts of the room..

Steph: You guys rushed here so quickly..
Echo: Can't let the guys get the limelight.
Shoji: These are our boxes, but they're used to keep our stuff!

With that, Shoji and Echo both hop onto the boxes.

Shoji: But we don't sit around the room all the time...
Echo: Nami, a little help here..

Shoji: We sleep in Steph' cupboard!
Nami: There ya go.

Nami: The bottom half of Steph's closet..

Echo: -jumps up- Which we've dominated.

Steph: Okay guys, I'm ending it! Go in and say bye.

Everyone: BYEBYE~ -lovelove-

At this point, I wasn't convinced that they're this lovey dovey. So I opened the closet and took a quick shot.

Shoji: Guys Steph is ope---
Echo: -has snatched teddy bear from Namida-
Namida: Hmphh.....

Leeke shoes are nice.

THEEND.

* = Dolls' dialogue are purely fictional. They really don't move around my room. xD

Moments - Shoji & Fuyuki

2009-05-12T16:08:00.003+08:00

Crossposted on SGcafe.

Caught the two of them at a not-so-recent meet. Sho & Fufu are so sweet la~ <3

"You are my summer breeze,
my winter sun,
my springtime soul.
My autumn touch of gold."

Just unpacked everything in my room. Will post pictures soon. Patience is a virtue.

<3>

Payday is Today!

2009-05-05T10:09:00.002+08:00

I love payday. HAHAHAH. Don't give me that judging look - Who doesn't love payday!

I woke up this morning with a throbbing head and a slight fever. In fact, everywhere aches. >_<>_< To add to the pain, my throat hurts. T_T I need a hug.

X_X Until next time, when I'm feeling less horrible.

Being left.

2009-05-04T01:17:00.001+08:00

I'm packing for the house-move as type. Reading your old journals and diaries is never a good thing. It's a bit funny how my feelings and views changed in the years. I read what I felt before, promises that I've promised people, and people I've disappointed and let down and hurt. I guess I'm really and idiot after all.

Reading these things again makes me wonder if it's right for me to make this decision.

It's too late to turn back now, and what makes it worse, is that I'm not sure if I want to.

Oh well, back to packing.

Chicken a la Carte

2009-05-03T03:53:00.001+08:00

WATCH THIS

Makes you think.

It's raining!

2009-05-03T02:26:00.001+08:00

:(

:)

:/ ?!?!

I like storms but but.... T_T IT'S DARK OUTSIDE AND I NEED TO PEE. :( I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid cockroaches will crawl inside. D:

And I hate lightning. Thunder is fine. Lightning makes me feel like I'll get electrocuted. Hahahah.

想你

I wanna wanna wanna...

2009-05-03T01:02:00.002+08:00

I want to be able to do so many things. Like not hiding anymore... Bah. Whatever. >_<

Anyway, here are pictures from a few weeks ago! JG + youth helpers went to Settlers @ SMU for some.. Fun? I guess. Hahaha. Tabs, Danny and I ended up working-ish instead. That aside, pictures~

Me, Isa and Tabs with our usual act cute pouty lips picture. XD I wubbles you girls! Taken whilst waiting for Danny, who was very late.

"OMG. A GUITAR DISTORTION?!!?! WOWWWSSS"

Then after Powerhouse, we took a bus to SMU, where we camwhored. :3 Yet again. Can't help it la, the lighting in the bus was nice. (Excuses... xD)

Me with Stacy Foo! The sunlight is pretty. But I'm like, hiding in the dark. Haha. I know the editing looks abit fake la. I'm trying to do the whole fake-focus thing.

That's the end of the photos because Photoshop's being a bitch. Hahaha. My monthy lady in red is going to visit me in a few times with her torturing devices, and I'm eating Haagen Daz green tea ice cream. Can't blame me, it's nice. D: Who doesn't love ice cream?!

I just packed my doll stuff for the big move on Friday. Hahaa. I really gotta learn sewing cos Echo's too tiny to fit even into F2BM clothes. D: She's so aneroxic, goodness. I'm bringing her to church tomorrow, maybe to take a few pictures.

Tomorrow's (or today's) schedule - 9AM Secrets of the vine, then 10.30AM service, then 1-1.30- collect my stuff, then lunch, then I'll go home to pack my stuff and perhaps do faceup.

I'm not sleepy. Maybe it's because I need to pee. XD I went to dig up some really old pictures. Goodness. Steph, never, EVER do the short-hair phase again! I looked horrid.

I suddenly can't wait to start school, to restart this journey. To start these four years.. I miss performing. Haha.

Ignore my fat thighs. Everyone has them unless they're freaks.

Perhaps I can't wait to be with you.
Gah.

Oh Good Heavens!!

2009-04-29T19:16:00.004+08:00

After hours of blood, sweat, potato chips and coffee, I have finally completed my blogskin! -dies- My back hurts now. It certainly has been a while since I've actually done some updating. I haven't been up to much, but here's a quick update on my life!

But before that, here's a picture of my darling wolf-boy!

Okay, back to topic! I shall write them all in point form!

1. I'm moving house on May 8!
2. I got into Lasalle, theatre!
3. Drama got Gold for SYF. :3
4. I'm working at Settlers @ SMU
5. I'm broke. LOL.

Ignore #5.. I should really stop spending on my dolls. xD I shall learn to sew. And yes, I'm moving yet again! To where? I can't possibly post it online, what if I get stalked? But it's pretty close to where I lived previously. My room is dark purple (very Indiany, says Mom) with silver curtains. I wanted to paint silver stars but I got mocked by the Mom who said, "You think you still 5-years-old ah?" :(

My friends are all starting Poly and hence, Tabbi and I are the only ones left with almost nothing to do. On a lighter note, our church is organising a musical, more details about that next time.

And how am I? Well, I've been busy doing nothing. That's right. On days that I'm working, I'll come home pretty tired, then I'll go to sleep and spend the day doing almost nothing. It's either I'm really packed or really empty. At least the house-move gives me some incentive to clear the rubbish dump which I endearingly call my room.

I'm off to shower and hopefully get something done. Until next time!

Steph.

P.S : Singapore's weather sucks. Never leave home without shades + umbrella.

"Life sucks but God is good."

2009-04-11T23:15:00.002+08:00

I really have to agree with that statement that Andrew replied me with, when I asked him, "How's life." Life sucks, but God is good.

I've been working, singing, speaking, and sleeping. Well, you'd be glad to hear that I made it to the callbacks for Lasalle. I don't know if I can make it in, but I pray so.

Ahh, I took a few pictures of myself 'cos Mummy helped me with makeup, and I realised I take more photos of dolls than of me. Pfft.

I look very un-me in the 3rd photo. WHAT?! I was trying to smile sweetly ok. >_>

But I don't know why.

2009-04-02T15:16:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel so empty, like I've lost all sense of purpose. Maybe it's the long break, giving me nothing to do, nothing to think of. No rush, no wearyness, just plain emptiness.

I don't feel any drive. No spark. Where's my spark?

I need inspiration.

I need my centre.

Falling Down as cold as Snow

2009-03-12T00:31:00.003+08:00

Forget it, okay?

Everything is my bloody fault. Yes. I'm your ridiculous bloody idiotic moneysucker that always does things last minute. Yes. That's me. Kill me off then. :) Sodding kill me off, because I'm here for nothing and I shouldn't even exist.

Yes, why aren't I one of those people who went to JC and actually have a tangible future? Why aren't I one of those people who want to be accountants, doctors, lawyers, teachers? Why am I doing such stupid things that are a waste of time and your money?

Steph, you suck. :) Yes I do. Everything is my fault. JUST KILL ME OFF THEN. It is all my fault that I am a lazy asshole and I don't know a thing about Singpass or some online application thing and I am such a lazy retard. AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! Yes. I don't even know if I can get into Lasalle cos I am so bloody untalented and this is a waste of money.

Go ahead and slam the cheque book on the table. I'm a waste of your time and money. I spend all my time on the phone. Yes. I suck as your daughter. I'm not like other people. Why am I even here?

I don't even want to cry myself to sleep this time. Sleep is the least of my worries. Steph, you suck as a human being. You deserve to burn. Burn. Burn. (Wow, sounds like off centre)

You have no idea how much it hurts. Maybe she's right, you know. I'm too messed up. I need my escape. Where's my haven? Where's my escape? Where's my safety net and sanity?

I need to find my centre. I've been buried too deep. I need to set things right...

To break free from the things that are choking me.
And things that are pushing Jesus away from the wheel.

Step by step.
Jesus, I'm giving you my all this time.
You're the only one who can pull me out of this mess.

Even when I fail You

2009-03-11T22:56:00.002+08:00

Even when I fail You,
I know You love me. I know You love me.
At the cross I bow my knee, where Your blood was shed for me,
There's no greater love than this.

I'm back from Bangkok and bought a truckload of things. XD Shopping is addictive. :3 Total count : 4 scarves, 9 articles of clothing, 1 pair of earrings, about 9 hairbands, 1 hat.... etcetcetc....

I need to Nami-dumpty together again. He probably hates me now. X_X

Well, photos of that trip / Nami+Echo+Shoji another time. It's MEME time! Taken from Lawliet's blog!

1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up:
- My Bed (Which I am sitting on)
- My Laptop?
- My Desktop. (LOL)
- My handphone
- My luggage (Haven unpack la)

2. How do you style your hair?
- Er, dry it and put THEFACESHOP (<3) hair conditioner?

3. What are you wearing now?
- Long sleeve white shirt and black pants. XD

4. If you could spend an hour with any one person of your choice (be they dead or alive) who would it be?
- Jesus! ^_^ Or Yoochun. LOL.

5. Do you nap a lot?
- I used to, when I was in school. Now I just sleep too much.

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
- Erm. -cough- I dunno.

7. What’s your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
- CHUNNIE? :33

8. What was the last thing you ate today?
- XXL Chicken from Shihlin? xD

9. What was the last text message you received?
- "Okay." - GC. Waste of message space!

10. What websites do you always visit when you go online?
- SGCafe, my blog, DoA, Facebook.

11. What was the last thing you bought?
- Uhhhhhhhhhh.... Alot of things in Bangkok?

12. What are you listening to right now?
- The noisy aircon and my own typing.

13. What do you think about before you go to bed at night?
- Too many things. Things I did, things I regret, people.

14. What is your favourite food ?
- GREEN TEA!! =DDDDDD Japanese food? :3

15. What is your favorite weather, and why?
- Depends if I'm out or in. If I'm at home, I want it to be a thunderstorm. If I'm out, I want to to be around twillight with clouds and wind, maybe a slight drizzle. -bricked-

16. If you could play any musical instrument, which one would you play?
- Piano, cos it's shuai. Or the guitar, very very pro-ly.

17. How are you?
- Fine, thank you for asking?

18. If you could make a movie, what genre would it be?
- Slapstick romance! XD

Shuddering Regret..

2009-03-05T22:45:00.002+08:00

"Think of me, think of me fondly, when we say goodbye.
Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try."

Hey everyone~ I had a really eventful week~

One. I went to LaSalle to submit my application and all of my other nonsense related to my foundation year in Theatre, paid them $60, and recieved my audition piece. Shucks. Thank you, for stoning at the photocopy machine and photocopying all my stupid certificates. Man, I really hope I get into LaSalle. T_T Steph, you need to stop doing last minute things.

Two. I actually went for medical checkup! Yay! And I managed to pee in a cup! Yay! xDDD HEY STOP LAUGHING. It's not that easy!!

Three. PAYDAY AHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHH!!!!!! <3333333

Four. I'm flying off to Bangkok tomorrow morning~ Remember not to wear yellow or red, or they might beat you up.

See ya!

Love, Steph.

The Farthest Disance..

2009-02-25T12:02:00.002+08:00

世界上最远的距离　不是生与死　
　　而是我站在你的面前　你却不知道我爱你
世界上最远的距离　不是我站在你的面前　你却不知道我爱你
　　而是爱到痴迷　却不能说我爱你

世界上最远的距离　不是我不能说我爱你
　　而是想你痛彻心脾却只能深埋心底
世界上最远的距离　不是我不能说我想你
　　而是彼此相爱　却不能够在一起

世界上最远的距离　不是彼此相爱　却不能在一起
　　而是明知道真爱无敌　却装作丝毫不在意　没把你放在心里
世界上最远的距离　不是明明无法抵挡这股思念　却还得故意装作丝毫没把你放在心里
　　而是用一颗冷漠的心　在你和爱你的人之间　掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠

世界上最远的距离　不是树与树的距离　
　　而是同根生长的树枝　却无法在风中相依
世界上最远的距离　不是树枝无法相依　
　　而是相互了解的星星　却没有交汇的轨迹

世界上最远的距离　不是星星之间的轨迹
　　而是纵然轨迹交汇　却在转瞬间无处寻觅
世界上最远的距离　不是瞬间便无处寻觅
　　而是尚未相遇　便注定无法相聚

世界上最远的距离　是鱼与飞鸟的距离
　　一个在天　一个却在　深潜海底

Pardon the Chinese! xD I sort of grasp the meaning, and it's one of the few Chinese prose things that I like. It's really true, too. HAHA. I'll go look for the translation!

READING THIS THING MADE ME CRY! T_T

世界上最远的距离　不是我不能说我想你
　　而是彼此相爱　却不能够在一起 ...

You're Looking into my Heart.

2009-02-22T00:38:00.002+08:00

Jesus, You're my eveything. I'm nothing without You. I choose to live for You.

I know You have plans to prosper me and not to harm me. You know, when I said that "I don't care what people will say, I'm running after You.", I must've lied. I want to run after You, Lord, but it seems like I do care what people say.

I have to let go of what's holding me back from giving my everything to You.

-------

Steph stood at the start of this bridge, wooden and beautiful. It's almost as if it's new, polished even. In the middle, the wood wore thin. Terribly thin. It was like, if you made the wrong step, you'll fall through and there'll be a gaping hole in the middle. Steph sat on the edge, at the start of the bridge and peered to the other side. She fingered the polished wood.. and glanced at the match in the other hand.

It's been a while..

2009-02-18T03:02:00.001+08:00

Since I've cried myself to sleep.
Yes, it's been quite a while.

Finally, the tears are back to lull me to sleep.

What to do when there's an ant on your laptop.

2009-02-17T09:47:00.001+08:00

Do not close it, for Pete's sake.

Not anohter Meme!

2009-02-16T21:35:00.002+08:00

I don't care if you're sick of my memes! XP I like doing stupid things like these!

Last beverage → Green tea!
Last phone call → Mummy. I'm going to Bangkok!
Last text message → Priscilla
Last song you listened to → I Will Be There - Steven Curtis Chapman
Last time you cried → 14 Feb! No, it wasn't related to V-day. xD

HAVE YOU EVER:
Dated someone twice → Nope.
Been cheated on → Nope. No boyfriend how to get cheated on? XD
Kissed someone & regretted it → Never kissed anyone. So doesn't apply!
Lost someone special → Definately.

IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU:
Fallen out of love → You could say that.
Laughed until you cried → On Friday! Wani, Rangsey, Tabs and I were playing Charoodles. XD
Met someone who changed your life → JESUS! :3
Found out someone was talking about you → That, was annoying.

How many people on your top friends do you know in real life? → All of them?
How many kids do you want to have → I have current 5 resin kids. I want only 2 flesh ones. xD
Do you have any pets → My darling girl Mocha~
Do you want to change your name → Steph is awesome.

What time did you wake up today → That's a good question.
What were you doing at midnight last night → Just reached home from work. XD
Name something you cannot wait for → Tomorrow.
Last time you saw your father → Errrr.... Last night I think.
What's one thing you wish you could change --> Right now, nothing much. Maybe some desicions.
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom --> I don't know any Tom. I know a Jerry!

What's getting on your nerves right now --> Backache! D:
What's your real name → Stephanie!
Elementary/Primary School → Zhonghua Primary School
Middle/Secondary School --> Mayflower Secondary
High School --> Singapore Polytechnic / maybe LaSalle
Hair color → Dyed red! It is be fading. :(
Long or short → Sorta long?
Are you a health freak → NOPE! I am the most unhealthy person ever.
Righty or lefty → Righty~

FIRSTS :
First surgery → Nope.
First piercing → Primary 4!
First best friend → Lena Goh!
First sport you joined → Bowling? LOL.
First pet → Alot of dogs. They existed before I did!
First vacation → Malaysia? Or Australia.

CURRENTLY :
Eating → Instant ramen.
Drinking → Green Tea.
Waiting → For Mavolio to come in from Korea, for Echo's body..

YOUR FUTURE :
Want kids? → Yep.
Want to get married?→ Yeah, hopefully.
Careers in mind? → ACTRESS. :3

HAVE YOU EVER :
Kissed a stranger → Nope.
Drank Wine/Beer/alcohol → Yep. :3
Lost glasses/contacts → Yeah. I lost my glasses. And one side of my contacts.
Ran away from home → Nope. I'm too much of a coward.
Broken someone's heart → I hope not. I'm sorry if I did. xD
Been arrested → Nope, thank God.
Cried when someone died → Yeah. Of course.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
Yourself → Hardly.
Miracles → Yep!
Love at first sight → No. No. No. No.
Heaven → Yeah.
Santa Claus → Nope. XD
Kiss on the first date → No.
Angels → Yep!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yeah, there is.
Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Nope. XD
Do you believe in God? → YES. =D

Sometimes I Run, Sometimes I Hide

2009-02-16T15:09:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby, all I need is time.

Hellooooo people! Here I am, lying on my bed eating fried rice, thinking. xD I'm going to collect my El head from Nelle later, so I'm kinda high. On a happy note, I killed a bunch of ants that invaded my kitchen. Listen, you ants, if I find you or your family or relatives in a five metre radius of my home, you're doing to DIE. You hear me? DIE. Not only death by squishing, but by hot water, burning, destroying and pulling off your puny limbs one by one. Grrrrr.

SAME GOES TO YOU, the flies that I find in the bathroom! And the massive flies in Settlers' aren't spared either! Come near this place and you're going to DIE. DIEEEEEE!!!

Okay, I'm done. :D LOL. I'll blog about my life another time. HAHA.

P.S: SHOJI HAS A VALENTINE. =DDD Awwwww!
Shoji: >_<

Remembering Sunday

2009-02-10T01:07:00.003+08:00

I had the fright of my life today. I let Mocha out of her cage to go pee, then I went into my room. 5 minutes later, my dad came in and asked, "Have you seen Mocha?" That bugger ran out of the house. I stay on the first floor.

Oh holy crap. I ran out of the house, started to whistle and shout for Mocha. It was freaking scary. So, I ran out into the carpark and yelled my head off. Then my brother came out and told me Mocha went back home. He opened the door, then Mocha was sitting outside, waiting. Idiot.. If she's really lost I'd be so depressed and riddled with guilt. Damn it. Gotta treat that idiot better..

Besides that, Mommy had her surprise birthday party at Aunty Doreen's today. She's totally no fun to surprise, totally no emotions. Marc tried to put whip cream on her face, but he totally failed.

Anyway, to end it off.. A meme from Chlo!

1. Put iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 20 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

Q.How does the world see me?
Work This Out - HSM 2 (Very funny. I don't like working out, sorry.)

Q.Will I have a happy life?
Wishing You Were here - Phantom of the Opera (Great.. I will have a life waiting for someone.)

Q.What do my friends really think of me?
Mighty to Save - Hillsongs (I'm not Mighty to Save. God is.)

Q.Do people secretly lust after you?
Hey now - FM Static (Uhh)

Q.How can I make myself happy?
Reaching For You - Hillsongs (Reaching for God, Happiness. That's a good answer.)

Q.What can I do with my life?
Come Clean - Hilary Duff (STOP LAUGHING PEOPLE. I haven't done anything to come clean with.)

Q.Will I ever have children?
Hey! Girl - DBSK (I'm.. going to get a girl? LOL)

Q.What is some good advice for me?
Break Free - Hillsongs (WON'T YOU BREAK FREE!)

Q.How will I be remembered?
Brave New Girl - Britney Spears (It's not funny. -.-)

Q.What is my signature dancing song?
4:AM forever - Lostprophets (I don't dance...)

Q.What do i think my current theme song is?
Someday We'll Know - Mandy Moore feat. Jonathan Foreman (Yeah.. That's pretty true)

Q.What does everyone think my current theme song is?
The End. - My Chemical Romance (I'M NOT THAT EMO!)

Q.What song will be played at my funeral?
A Closer Walk with Thee - Unknown (OF COURSE! ^_^)

Q.What sort of men/women do i like?
Break My Heart - Hilary Duff (Oh, crappity.)

Q.What is my day going to be like?
Harder Everyday - Ashlee Simpson (WHY SO PESSIMISTIC!)

Q.What is the title of my post?
Remembering Sunday - All Time Low

The Mess that I've made.

2009-02-05T00:54:00.002+08:00

Heya~ Work has been alright, I guess. My stomach has been giving me the same irritating issues again, that usual unshittable pain. >_> ASDFGH. -sigh- I haven't been doing anything interesting, other than rotting at home and then going to work.

Then melancholic songs have been running through my mind. I love this song, even though it's in Mandarin. It's freaking sweet. *O* Yoochun, sing it to me!

我想对你说, 却害怕都说错...　
好喜欢你　

知不知道 ?

Edgar and Lydia

2009-02-02T12:59:00.002+08:00

Huggles~
Originally uploaded by the crystal tear

I look so unwilling! xD Hahahhha.. But this is probably the nicest photo of us together. I need to work on my expression for the photoshoot. Gahhh!

There aren't many photos of Earl and Fairy (WHY!), so gotta wait for the photoshoot la.

The JC people start school today. Poor kids. -smirks at them- And I have adult fare now! Nooooo! >_< Yesterday was the first time that coming home from church cost me around $2. This sucks. D:

It's 1PM and I've just woken up. Okay, going to go bathe and all that nonsense! ^_^ Until next time!

i still remember how i felt that night
the stars were out and made it all seem right
and i really do miss the feeling.

SOYA 2009

2009-02-01T01:13:00.002+08:00

I'm dead tired. And I looked like a trannie today. HAHAHA.

OKAY STOP LAUGHING!

T_T I'm dead tired...

Seeya~

Oh, crap.

2009-01-29T00:26:00.002+08:00

I'm going to lose this. It's going to be over, just a matter of time. I played the wrong cards, and the odds are against me.

YES, I'm speaking in Steph-code again, so nobody knows what I'm talking about, yay!

I just have to hope...

Fuse

2009-01-28T00:15:00.002+08:00

My fuse is getting shorter. It's not as if I *toot* want to miss going to JG's cell visitation on *toot* Saturday. And no, I can't *toot* do anything about it, because I have been planning for this cosplay since early January/late Dec? And no, I'm not the kind of *toot* person who would back out on her team members. Someone like you might. I won't. And it's insane, because my costume would be a waste. So it's not my *toot* fault that I can't go, because I totally didn't know that *toot* CNY visitation would fall on the *toot* same day as SOY.

Rant is over. Mahjong is fun. I am depressed.

I need to write. I need to write a story, to distract myself. I'm stuck, trapped, and I can't say it. Not to.. Well, some people at least. Because in the end, I'm the one to blame. I know it, and I know I would be if anything happens. It is my fault, always has been and will be. The mask is fixed and functioning, let the masquerade begin.

音のしない涙が　この胸流れるけど悔やまずに踏み出すよ

2009-01-26T23:21:00.004+08:00

ずっとずっと忘れない
扉いくつ開けても
どんなに遠く離れても　
つないだ手と手　
離れはしない

T_T I'M GETTING VERY EMO. VERY VERY EMO. This was the song Chlo sang in Sec 2, for Teacher's Day or some random event. It suddenly came into my head. T.T I'm going to listen to Mirotic, or Balloons to get me into happy-happy mood. This song is too sentimental. And so is "Doushite kimi o suki ni natte shimatandarou?" Die lar, my laptop is full of emo songs.

Anyway, SOY is this Saturday, and I'm getting a stomachache thinking about it! >_< style="font-style: italic;" size="4">

慣れた仕草も忘れるの？
違う未来へいくの？
How can you forget these familiar gestures?
Are we headed to different futures?

Reunion Dinner

2009-01-25T23:02:00.003+08:00

... That was alot of people in my house. O_O Big bro, 2nd bro, Shirley mommeh, Bernard korkor + girlfriend, Chelsia jiejie, Weiqi jiejie, Claris + Coen, Mum, Dad, 2nd Aunty.

The house has never been so bright and.. Full of voices. Steamboat was nice, but I forgot you're not supposed to drink the soup when you put raw stuff in. Whoops. Shabu-shabu and salmon rocked. ^_^

Okay, I'll end with a picture of my hot boyfriend! Yoochun ah, when you're done with Korea, come to Singapore and fly me back with you okay? <3

Aww, I love you too hon! -is bricked-

Unique - Project Runway

2009-01-25T00:48:00.000+08:00

Okay~ Decided to use Flickr and post my photos.

For the photos, please go to Here!

Painted my nails red today. Heavens, I got a fright.

Quiz thingum again!

2009-01-23T17:02:00.002+08:00

My second post! Hope I don't bored you to death!

1. How old will you turn in 2009?
SEVENTEEN~ xD I suddenly feel old. ._.

2. Would you rather love one person or have many relationships?
Rather love one person, thank you very much..

3. Would you date someone 8 years older than you?
25..? I don't see why not.

4. When was the last time you laughed?
Been.. A while. Oh no, I'm getting depressed!

5. What were you doing at 4am this morning?
Going to bed!

6. What’s your relationship with the person you last texted?
Roy! My friend / Edgar / Sebby-chan!

7. What did you do today?
Weeeell... I woke up around 2pm today.. And didn't leave my house. I need a slack time.

8. Who do you really want to see now?
Jesus..... And you.

9. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
I HOPE NOT. O_O

10. Who’s your last missed call?
Meeve. xD That was 3 days ago!

11. What’s something you really want now?
Waffles + ice cream? D: And.. somethingone which I shouldn't say here.

12. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?
....You.

13. Would you go back in time if you had the chance?
Yes. I'd go back and change so many things, and right all the wrongs.

14. What’s something you need to go shopping for?
Birthday gifts, and clothes.

15. Do you want kids?
Yeah, but paaaain. T_T

16. Are you in love with anyone?
Jesus! =D I wouldn't call my teenage infatuations 'love' just yet..

17. How’s your heart lately?
Still being in God's ICU, but likes to run away and get injured all over again.

18. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
Tabbi's sleepover thingum! =D

19. Is your phone close to you?
Yeah, always.

20. What is bothering you now?
So many things. Questions that need answers, wishes that need fulfilling.

21. What does your last received text message say?
"steph, when u wanna get lens?"

22. Where are you now?
At home, in bed, under a mass of blankets.

23. Are you listening to music?
Nope.

24. Do you like country music?
Uhh, Taylor Swift's good..

25. Do you wet toothbrush before toothpaste?
I wet it to wash it, then flick the water off.

26. How is your hairstyle right now?
Right now, I have I-just-woke-up hair.

27. Do you like your first name?
Course I do! Steph rocks! (gets bricked)

28. The last thing you drank?
Red tea from Lipton! Free gift from Cheers! HAHA.

29. What you sing obnoxiously in the car?
I don't have a car. If I were to sing unglam-ly, the last time would be singing "Doh-ray-mee" with Len, while walking home.

30. What did you do 15 minutes ago?
Read Tabbi's blog, which is where I got this from.

31. Do you think you are a good person?
Honestly, I'd hate myself if I wasn't me, and I don't know how people stand me. I'm a horrible person. HAHA.

32. The first contact in your phone?
Adrian. xD

33. The sweetest person in your life?
God. Okay okay, my mommy!

34. The closest female to you now?
Lennu! Sorry Chlo, but you and I know that we don't do comforty things! Too unshuai! HAHA.

35. The person you’re chatting with now?
No one. xD

36. The languages you are able to speak?
English, a bit of Mandarin if I'm forced to, slapstick Japanese, two words of Korean, a bit of Cantonese?

37. The last person whom you screwed?
Up. Yes. I screwed up. XD

38. One word about your life now.
Annoying.

39. Where do you wish to work?
On the stage, or the big screen.

40. What are you specially good at?
Being an idiot? Gee, I don't know.

41. Would you date someone younger than you?
-blink- Nothing against it.. But he'll have to have a huge maturity level.

42. Who are you to yourself?
An idiot? I'm me. A vile selfish disgusting annoying human being.

43. Do you forgive people easily?
Rather easily.

44. Which girl is precious to you now?
Mommy? xD Everyone!

45. Your dressing style?
I like black.

46. How are you different from other girls?
Uhhhh... I don't know?

47. Bad point in yourself?
I'm an idiot, seriously. >_> People reading this, no, I'm not suicidal.

48. The last contact in your phone?
Papa. Cos his name is in Chinese..

49. Your favourite song?
Currently it's "Someday We'll Know" and "Never Alone"

50. The 1 hated contacts in your phone?
If I hate them, they're not in my phone!

51. Learn one language in 10 days?
Japanese.

52. One gorgeous girl you came across?
Uhhhh.. That pretty lead in Inkheart. I like her accent.

53. Who’s your biggest enemy?
Satan. And myself.

54. Which gang do you support?
The Vongola Family! HAHA.

55. What do you think about gangsters?
The pathetic people in Singapore who call themselves gangsters? O_o Yes, they need Jesus.

56. Proper age to join gang?
DON'T DO IT!

57. Do you have a blogspot?
No, I don't. The URL you see on my blog is SOOOOO not blogspot!

58. Do you like people who smoke?
Yeah. My dad smokes, for pete's sake. But I don't like the smoke, thas all.

59. What do you think about modelling?
Scary? XD (JG's Project Runway trauma)

60. Given a chance, would you like to be a model?
I would make everyone lose appetite for months.

61. Whose approval to you usually seek first?
God, mom.

62. What do you wish to be in the future?
ACTRESSS! Either that or a rich taitai!

63. Tagg 6 people to do the quiz (:
....ANYONE.

a.muse.me.

2009-01-23T14:36:00.003+08:00

I haven't written any poems in a while. Am a tad rusty, so here goes.

Daylight falls like a blade,
Candles are dimmed in this facade.
Coal black eyes heard no ringing,
Opening to a blank nothing.

Sitting up in bleak darkness,
Things that aren't hers.
The ink on the page is bleeding,
She thought that love was receding.

Why did he make her smile with a glance,
Why did she stare at any chance?

.
.

I'd hate me if I wasn't me.

Dreams to Dust

2009-01-20T02:26:00.002+08:00

Steph is lazy to edit pictures of project runway. I will leave you with the one I koped from Isa's blog!

STACY WHY U LEAVE EARLY. T.T

Anyway, Kuroshitsuji photoshoot tmr~ Yay!

Sometimes, I wish..

2009-01-19T00:17:00.003+08:00

I do wish that my parents force me to go somewhere. Do something. I don't know if I should go to LaSalle/NAFA after all.

My main goal : Act as soon as possible. Heck.

I don't want a fallback. Nope. I don't want to do anything else. I don't want to design, do journalism, photography, business. I want to, need to, have to act. D: And I don't know where to start.

I changed the layout of my room. So many useless things. I should throw them out. Throwing out past. Welcoming a very dark future. Ha.

I wish I was the kind with a possible future in Singapore. >.>

Crazy Little Thing (s)

2009-01-16T23:49:00.002+08:00

You +/- 1 92s rock. I love you people to pieces.

Spent Sam's be-earlied birthday at his place (your house rocks, Sam!) by surprising him.

Bus fare to MRT : 45cents
Train ride to Bukit Panjang : 90cents (I tapped in and out and in again)
Look on Sam's face when he saw us : Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, we have... uhh... Student concession

OKAY ENOUGH CRACK FROM ME. Tomorrow's the Project Runway thing and I can't believe I'm actually... goingtogoinasilverwig. The post-O levels must have driven me crazy, goodness.

You Are "tab"

Some people might try to say that you're always spaced out.

You do tend to be a dreamer, but you're also a great multitasker.

You work quickly and efficiently. So it's no problem if you goof off a little while you're working.

And if people want to think you're flakey, that's fine. You're getting more done than they are.

What Keyboard Key Are You?

I'm.. getting more.. done?

What have I done?

2009-01-15T03:28:00.002+08:00

AAAAH! I DID IT I DID IT.

I WENT AND SENT MY JAE THING.

Honestly... >.>

5. Tampines Junior College.
SERIOUSLY... HAHAHAH. If I get in means they really like me. OH CRAP. NO.

8. Law and Management
HAHAHAAHAAH WHAT ON EARTH.

WHAT AM I THINKING.

No, I'm not drunk. >.> Only the first 5 choices were made with a sound mind. Blame Singapore for not having a Diploma in Theatre. And I wanna place a bet on something! The YEAR I graduate from where-ever I am, or my second year, the idiots will come up with having a course 'Theatre'. It always happens. >.>

Anyway, KHR-TIME!

Inevitably,

2009-01-13T02:14:00.002+08:00

No avoiding it. Might as well blog about it. With me being not exactly emo, I'm not very glad either. D: Yes, this is me, forever unsatisfied with myself. I don't even know what I want to do. Man, I hate being aimless.

L1R5 - 13 / L1R4 - 10

I know I'm supposed to be happy about it, strangely. ._. I'm more like... "Oh."

What to do.. I'm just glad it's over. I'm glad this damn thing that gave me like a million pimples is over.

It's Life - Phase 2.

Moving forward, even if I'm crawling.

2009-01-08T22:20:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone, it's Shoji here. I'm sure this is where Steph writes all her thoughts, but I'm her thought-form so I count as her thoughts too, right? ^^ I'm sure she won't mind.

Is it in the next few moments that my life is decided?
Is it in that scrap of paper that's supposed to dictate?
Is that what I've been doing for the past four years?
Is this the end of me?

You guys are Stephu-nee's friends right? She's been totally weird lately. I mean, she's weird but she's just moping around doing nothing. Okay, she's been watching KHR and being happy whenever this guy called Gokudera appears.. Is that normal? O_o

But she hasn't been thinking very much. I wish Nami-nii-chan was here. He knows Steph longer and better than I do. But I know this isn't like the Steph that opened my box.

She usually thinks and writes a lot. About her day and about many things. She tells me it's because she needs to 'let it out' in some way. I don't get it, but now she's just blank. Empty.

I wonder if it's because of something Chloe-nee sent her. I don't think so, though.

I know the 'O levels' is this big test that Stephu just took, right? But she knew all along that the results are near. I wonder what's bugging her. Maybe she'll tell Nami-nii, but it seems to me that she's trying to distract herself. But she says it's cos 'Gokudera's hot.'... whatever that means. ._."

She told me last year's O level results that she witnessed. Stephu felt so scared for them, even though she wasn't the one taking it. I don't know how it's supposed to feel, but my guess is something like a bad stomachache and a heart attack and the feeling like you're going to fall, the way she describes it.

But Stephu-nee's gonna be fine, right? It's really dumb for your life to be decided on a piece of paper. It's only a piece of paper, right? I don't know what happened before I came, Nami-nii isn't here so I can't ask him. But even if she doesn't do well, it's gonna be fine right?

Stephu-nee's friends too.. They'll be okay. She says they studied way harder than her. Stephu says that God holds her future. God must be awesome, then. I'm counting on you, God, to make Steph normal again.. >_<

Steph says having faith is believing in something that you can't see. Kind of like me trusting Steph not to drop me when I'm sitting in the dark bag.

God isn't gonna drop you, Stephu.

Song thingie!

2009-01-03T22:42:00.006+08:00

Koped this from Kaya's blog. Anyway, just tag on my board (CLICK ONCE AND REFRESH THE WHOLE PAGE).

Guess as many as you want.

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random
Step 2: Post the first line(s) from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
(Note out name of song if in the first few lines)
Step 3: No more than one entry per band
Step 4: Let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from
Step 5: Bold out the songs when someone guesses correctly
Step 6: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING

1: "Wake up, tired, Monday mornings suck. It's way to early to catch a bus."
Billy S. - Skye Sweetnam by shery.

2: "Over the mountains and the sea Your river runs with love for me."
I could Sing of Your love forever - unknown by walter!

3: "Ninety miles outside Chicago, can't stop driving I don't know why."

4: "Here we are, in the best years of our lives."
Moment of truth - FM static by isa!

5: "It is not a human right to stand up and fight while broken nations dream"
Solution - Hillsongs by walter!

6: "Feels like I have always known you and I swear I've dream about you"

7: "Yo, U-know, let's try some noise bit."
O - DBSK by mylife

8: "Please love let's make, no impartial vow. "

9: "Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven?"
Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton by Isa

10: "You gonna clean up your looks with all the lies in the books to make a citizen out of you."
Teenagers - MCR by Isa

11: "Somebody get your praise on!"
Jump Around - PlanetShakers by Isa!

12: "Met you on a springtime day, you were minding your life and I was minding mine too."

13: "I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car."
Our Song - Taylor Swift by roy.

14: "In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came."
Phantom of the Opera by roy!

15: "Hey, you, living for tomorrow, you sell your dreams for a pocket of change."
Giving it all away - Ashlee Simpson by shery!

16: "Listen up, ya'll, I'm gonna try to reach ya. Class is now in session, pay attention to the teacher."
Who's in the House - Carmen by walter~

17: "When I was just a little girl my momma used to tuck me into bed and she read me a story."
Cinderella - Tata Young by shery

18: "Let me hear you say hey hey hey. (hey hey hey)
The Best Damn Thing - Avril by walter!

19: "Sakura saku maiochiru Nani mo nai boku no te no ue"
Sakura addiction - Mukuku & Hibaba by roy

20: "Notice me, take my hand. "
Everytime -Britney Spears by shery.

The Forth Resolution

2009-01-02T22:52:00.003+08:00

I didn't go around looking for a fight, it came to me.

It's all my fault that I'm tired and have to sleep so much right. Tch. Yes, I get picked on for sleeping. :)

Well, maybe she was looking for a fight, but I'm dead tired from badminton and bowling today, so I just lay on my bed and.. waited for her to go away. It's not like I sprang up from my bed and started yelling back.

Now she's kicking up a fuss outside. Who's the kid, you tell me.

Really.. I woke up 2 hours before my usual time today (I'm holidaying, don't Tsk me. It's NORMAL.) and I was playing badminton (Eh, it's strenuous for me ok, not a sports person). I'm getting scolded for sleeping. ._.

AOASJDWAIFHEW F$I%)#$I1!!!!!

And I have to go to church at 9AM tomorrow, a' course I'm going to sleep more after this, not like I'm going to stay up till 4AM.. I've got more sense than that.

And she also said "I thought you looking for a job? Still keep sleeping?!" What the @)#( is your problem, seriously. I've FOUND my own job, thank you very much. Make more sense if you want to pick a fight with me, I'm not as lazy/goodfornothing/whatever you see me in your eyes as YOU think I am.

Forget it. Think what you want. It doesn't hurt, it never will.

I'm only sleeping.

It's like, 2009!

2009-01-01T15:01:00.002+08:00

Hey there, my first entry of 2009! =D My goodness, I actually lived for this long. -cough-

So yes, as a customary thing for my blog every New Years' is to blog my new year resolutions - after which I'll put into my reminders. So.. Here I go.

I will do my quiet time for 365 days this year, and not back out somewhere in October. >.>
I will stop spending so much on dolls. No more dolls this year! (Okay la, save for the head..)
I will not be a lazy bum. -slaps self-
I will try to be nice to my parents and not fight with Mummy so much.
I will stop being morbid and wantingto bite everyone to death. (xD Hibari!)
I will learn to sew!!! >_<
I will take time to actually practice guitar.
I will not be late for any appointments I make.
I will stop being online 24/7! >_<

There you have it, my new year resolutions. D:

Well,I gotta go clean my room / do face up / plan for illusivity / do portfolio!

See you around!

Twillight Review

2008-12-29T23:14:00.002+08:00

Nope, I'm not going to edit the photos. My eyes need a break from... Photoshop. -goes mad- Anyway, I saw the sgcafe complain thread about Twillight, made me a little pissed so I decided to write here.

Anyway, I watched Twillight the other day with Len and Fufufu. xD Okay, I know everyone thinks it's overrated and all, BUT, if all the xiaomeimeis stopped reading it and SQUEALING in annoying high-pitched voices over Edward Cullen, it would be a good read/watch. I like the book, it's addictive, stranglely. Albiet draggy, but still good. You would like it if - all the little girls didn't read it. You don't like it because - reading it makes you appear childish. I like it because I'm a sucker for sweet and romantic stories.

I prefer the book much more than the movie. Her words are simple and straightforward for a light read, I suppose. When I watched the movie, I felt that if I hadn't read the book beforehand, I wouldn't have understood it. The movie just... helped my imagination a little!? But it had too many pauses, so me no like that part.

Robert Pattingson (is that how to spell it?) is NOT hot/shuai/sexy. I like the character he portrays (just like how I like Jack Sparrow and not Johnny Depp). It's just how the character intently stares and behaves makes me like him, but not the actor.

I don't like the actress for Alice. Okay, I felt that Alice's vocal range suits the character perfectly, but she looks old, I'm sorry whoever the actress is. She looks OLD, and isn't very hyper, and is.. not cute, and she ruined my favourite character. Pffffft.

I'm going back to watch my KHR. >.>

My Rainbow

2008-12-27T22:49:00.002+08:00

I'm dead beat.. Updating with just a quiz!

Your rainbow is strongly shaded white and violet.

What is says about you: You are a contemplative person. You appreciate beauty and craftsmanship. People depend on you to make them feel secure. You are patient and will keep trying to understand something until you've mastered it.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

Shoji is my candyman! He's now dressed in all white and holding a candycane! >D I love guys in white! *hint* yoochun ah, please wear full white!

TDA was fun+tiring! I'm going to dieeee tmr! I need sleep! And I want a job. T.T

Merry CHRISTmas

2008-12-25T20:12:00.002+08:00

Whilst the world is out doing random things, I'm curled up on my bed with green tea mochi and green tea, under a mass of blankets, watching Code Geass / KHR / Bleach.

Hehehheh so emo.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Merry CHRIST-mas all~

Camp Majesty (IMAGE INTENSIVE)

2008-12-24T21:09:00.004+08:00

I'm done editing/uploading! Oh, my poor sore tired eyes! Anyway, here's my take on CAMP MAJESTY. I didn't run around taking many pictures, so I have only around 50 pictures after deleting the stupid blur ones. :D (Stacy has 1056 pics, wahaha) So... Sit back, relax and enjoy.

Camp Majesty was amazing, like all the other JG Camps I've been to! It was an eye-opener, and it really has made me confirm that I'd do anything for God. I remember I was screaming inwardly, asking "God. God! WHAT ON EARTH DYOU WANT ME TO DO"

No, no booming voice. Just my own thoughts saying "I'd even go to shit engineering courses!" I know, I'd never be satisfied if I did a will other than Gods'. ANYWAY, MOVING ON.

Note: DO NOT DIRECT LINK (Meaning use the URL from MY photobucket).
Please save and upload to YOUR OWN server!

Germie is a bunny!

My group was "Maharaja". Yes, again with the ridiculous names. Pfft. I was assistant leader to Joel 3. The skit was based on Titanic, and our skit partner was "Daewang" (Korea) MAWANG! xD Anyway, our ending was "Both Jack and Rose jumped off the ship". ._. Errr.

"I kill you with my cool gun desu!"

Everyone, meet Sam Chua the parrot! He has cool hair right!

Chris, who sat opposite me and thus has the honour of having a picture taken by ME, with his glamorous bib given to him by his angel.

Team MAHARAJA for the win!, minus Germaine, who ran off somewhere.

And our ally, team Daewang! I promise you Samuel aka Doraemon (nearest left) is super cute! ><

This is be Kaiser!

Our camp verse: 1 Peter 2:9
Everybody WAN PETER 2-NITE.

Peter: J00 want me? Yay!

The field where we had our games. Fun! 8D Including swimming in detergent, spraying each other with dyed water, spreading shaving cream, digging hands in soil-ed water, melting ice, doing math equations...

And here we have Walter, being pensive.

Childhood friend Caroline! I totally glomped her when I first saw her in like, a million years. T_T -sheds tears of joy-

STACY! We've been in the same team/combined team for 5 years running! Love lovee!

Cosplay influence!

Die!

My turn to play!

"You will perish, under my wooden.. katana... "

I am cool in a black hat!

And now, the fun really begins! The skit time!

Sam you are an awesome parrot!

Wei Sze and Jon, Rose and Jack!

-guffaws- The 3 pirates and Amanda! XD

And the winning team... Sheikh and... forgot what name!

Marcus, I totally admire your great sacrifice during your skit. The poor boy did a leapfrog and landed smack on his bum. Then... a hush came over the audience.

And he stood up and continued the act. -bows-

Post-skit pictures!

The 3 crazy barker boys.

Me and Walter. He's like the piano pro la. And he wore a wig for the sake of performance! -sheds tears-

WHY ARE YOU SO TALL! Anyway, this is me and Marcus. We're not smiling cos he didn't want to smile, for his bum still hurt.

My apologies for the blur picture! I was laughing at the retardedness of someones face. xD

That's it. I WANT A BLACK HAT FOR CHRISTMAS.

Caroline joins in!

Then we started the retarded hopping craziness! Photos courtesy of Lynette!

First up, Sam and Lester.

TRAIN! 8D

Ready...

Start running...!

FLYYYYY!

And land!

The crazy people!

Stacy the mad woman!

No idea what we were doing but.. I.. blocked my own face. :(

Everyone, meet Princess Sam~~antha~~!

Did I tell you how much I love my group! Maharians!

Another shot!

Sheikh, taken by Marc's request. Email me for the full resolution.

Jump shots of Sheikh.

This proves the Becky will forever look weird in jump shots.

SEE? (She's the left-est in the photo, by the way)

THE END.

Camp Majesty ROCKED, and was totally worth missing the Japan trip! -is bricked by Len and Chlo-

Welcome back to Singapore, you two! <3

Editing Pictures of Camp Majesty!

2008-12-21T23:25:00.002+08:00

I'm editing as fast as I can! Meanwhile, here are my 3 pics from EOY!

Mel was cosplaying Detective Loki Ragnarok (No idea what that is.) She's the one in pinkuuu!

And my highlight of that day: SHUAI LELOUCH/ZERO.
OMG OMG. He's so very shuai! >< -fangirling- Lelouch my loveee!

Okay I like the fact that he looks emo. XD LULU!

I can die happy. *o*

Tadaimasu!

2008-12-18T18:37:00.001+08:00

I'm back!

And damn sleepy. T_T Every muscle in my body hurts. Places I never knew even existed hurts. :(

BUT! It was fun!

Okay.. I'll blog about it in full detail another time. :D Ciao!

Armed with something yellow!

2008-12-14T23:08:00.001+08:00

I am off to CAMP MAJESTY!

Shoji: What's this bright yellow thing! >.<
Steph: I'm going away for a few days to camp.
Shoji: -teary eyes- You're going away??!

Poor kid..

Yay zilian me! Haven't zilianed in a long while!

Die la, I might cosplay with Roy for SOY! Dorrie fund...s.. -faint-
DIE DIE DIE. xD

Okay, I should sleep now! >< See you guys when camp's over!

Love, STEPH

Before the Doors Close

2008-12-13T22:49:00.003+08:00

Hey thar! I was a EOY today, didn't do much. I'm supposed to be packing for camp now, but I'm a little lazy. And my ALT button isn't working very well. -emoes- :/

Shoji baby's the cutest thing ever! >_< I fangirl everytime I see him ahahaha! Today was just camp briefing, so after that, a bunch of us went to eat dessert. Very amusing situation, shall not elaborate further.

I took a nice walk from Kovan MRT home. Despite the inhaling of pollution from cars, garbage, and smoke from the food stalls, it was a calming and relaxing walk. I love walking in the evening/at night, actually. It's like at these quiet times with yourself, you start to think. It gives me time to think. A lot. Okay, I sound so emo. But really, it's fun!

I also downloaded Maple into my laptop, and it's screwed. I think I'll stick to my desktop until I can upgrade my RAM to 4gb. Screw you, laggy-but-chio Vista! So, anyway, in my deep abyss of thought, my dear Melpomene decided to come and inspire me. :) So, here I have, a poem. Don't fall asleep! It's a really unorganised poem, man. ><

Muses, for a night.

It's a starless night,
The humid air's a-resting.
It's a moonless night,
And here I am thinking.

The melody that makes me smile,
That sound that I'm pining for.
When I stopped to feel a while,
I started the heart's war.

Hate built up against my being,
I'd hate you if I were you.
My dear, are you tired of living?
I'd kill you if I were you.

And I ask myself, 'Why?"
I ask that so many times.
I look up at the starless skies,
Sick of my excuse for crimes.

Am I supposed to feel this ache?
Or should I have buried it all?
It must've been a great mistake,
This will be my downfall.

Mind keeps chanting to the Heart,
But when did Heart ever listen?
Mind sighs as Heart falls apart,
Pieces in moonlight glisten.

I know I'm not supposed to,
I know this is too strange.
Is it too late to undo,
Too late to rearrange?

DIE LAR.

2008-12-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

Stupid Customhouse 50% sale.

Love Story

2008-12-08T23:50:00.003+08:00

Taylor Swift's song is stuck in my head.

I just blushed Nami's body... Shoji's coming back on Wednesday, and I'm off for camp next week.

I went out for a relative-lunch thing today, pretty alright. I bought guitar picks, for I lost them again.

I haven't been thinking very much, and my darling Melpomene (muse of tragedy) isn't helping. I'm thinking of getting a girl and naming her Melpomene, y'know, since she's my muse.

NO MORE DORRIES.
Echo's body : 200USD.
DIE.

I'll join the Mafia!

Your Mafia Name Is Carmela "The Bull" Bastoni

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

What's Your Mafia Name?

Homg la!

2008-12-07T20:41:00.002+08:00

Arrhhh. -looks at money fly-

Customhouse is having a 50% sale. ._. die die die. I still want Echo baby's body. :(

My current WTB list:
K-Doll Karon NS - Lelouch? xD who will remain a floating head?
CP Moon - Takashi (Or should I just get the body)
Echo's body - T_T
CH Ange Ai Hani - Luna
Luella is being pushed down. :(

Total damage: I DON'T WANT TO CALCULATE.

Die lah. Going to reblush Nami's body and do Matthias' faceup. My life hasn't been very interesting. :/

<3

Whoops~

2008-12-06T10:13:00.002+08:00

Ahaha, right Steph, what's the point of updating your blogskin if you don't write in it... -.-

Okay, it's been a tiring week working at the Raffles roadshow. My feet hurt and I'm tired of the annoying people who think they're all-powerful cos they're rich. Working in town also means no meal can cost less than 5 bucks. -looks at the flyaway money-

On a lighter note, my stuff from the online spree are here! ^_^ Yay! I need to get rid of my other happy-looking clothes. Yes, I shall have a dark and depressing wardrobe!

Sadie's with me now, and she is the cutest thing! I have been giving her lotsa lotsa candy and Sera's prolly gonna kill me. 8D I'll post pictures of her when I'm free. Ooo, I gotta go clean Namimi baby. His head is with blackpaperbag now... -looks at money fly away-

I met up with the two idio--- I mean, I met up with Len and Chlo last night for dinner. xD Quite fun lah. :D Usual crapping around.. Meh! I wanna go out again!

Youth camp is in a few weeks. I need to get sleeping bag. So many things to do - So SLEEPY/LAZY to do anything! Speaking of which, I think I'm more stressed AFTER my O levels than before, cos the other day, my colleague at work found a strand of white hair on me! -panic- OH CRAAAAPPITYY. T_T I'm getting old/stressed.

I used THEFACESHOP raspberry roots collagen eye patch last night (it won the CLEO beauty award best eye-mask btw). I have dark eye circles + eyebags. >_< I'm also startin to think El is super cute. 8D Ohhhh crap. -looks at money fly-

*_*

Okay, going to eat/clean Nami/study for MVQ.

Ciao!

I'm Back!

2008-11-29T22:10:00.002+08:00

Okay, I've finally done my blog! XD This is going to be a long post.

O levels? They're over, and I'm putting them all in God's hands, cos they're the safest place to put them in. Gee, I'm really not used to blogging.

Anyway, I've been working, and if you go to Raffles Exchange during this week, you might see me. My job has been pretty brainless - Packing, stuffing, shredding... But yeaaah~ MONEY! xD

Last night was JG's movie marathon thingum, I stayed up until 5ish? I then died on the floor, resulting in a backache. Note to self: Buy fluffy sleeping bag! They watched Money No Enough 2, which left me sobbing. I just can't stand it when old people are bullied! >_<

I finally fulfilled one of my dream dolls - Lati Blue Rei, my baby Shoji. BOX OPENING PICS!

THE BOX! That weighs like more than the doll itself..

I opened it, and took him out. This is.. the bubblewrap. And Echo rolling around.

Shoji! :D SUCH A CUTE FACE!

With a wig on.. He's so cute! >_<

This is Echo! Lati Blue Yern. xD She's so emo - I like!

More Shoji. I love his eyes! They're gray. :D

Testing out his posing. He has this thing about smacking himself in the head. XD

OKAY. Sleep time! <3